Many middle class Americans over seventy grew up hearing and singing to a pipe organ on Sundays. Far, far more young people have heard electronic keyboards than have heard pipe organs. I have an acquaintance who trained as a pipe organist who now plays for two churches on Sunday. In at least one of them he plays a keyboard (I don’t know about the other). He hates it when people tell him how wonderful his keyboard playing is. This is not the real thing, and you have never heard a real organ and you have no conception of how tacky a keyboard sounds compared to the real thing! (He also would not like it that I wrote “pipe organ”. “Organ” ought to mean what it always meant!) (See Note). He is witnessing a change in the world and he doesn’t like it.

I once attended a discussion in an Episcopal church that featured a progressive churchman and a traditional churchman in a discussion. Being one of the usual Anglican it’s-all-wonderful but-not necessarily-literally-true people, I was really wanting to hear what the traditionalist would say. Well, his argument was just like my friend the pipe (sorry) organist. For one thing, he made a vehement defense of King James English. In particular that the distinction between “thou” and “you” was important: “Thou” was the form you used with family and close friends and — God! That meant something and modern translations lose the distinction.

Well, I was disappointed. All his arguments were railing against the world changing, which means they weren’t arguments at all but merely venting at the world going to hell.

I’ll conjecture that not one American in 500 knows about the familiar-formal distinction between thou and you in 16th century English, and those who are familiar with “thou” in religious usage think it is something highly formal because after all it is used for God! (See note 2.) This completely reverses the point of the traditionalist who was saying that the use of “thou” means we are addressing God like someone close, like a friend or a member of the family. Must have been as irritating as hearing someone praise your playing an electronic keyboard when they have never heard an organ.

Now, I love language and I love King James English, not least because I grew up with it. But it is dead. I love singing in Latin, too. And anyway, if you want something like King James English that is a living language, try German. It has lots of those old distinctions and more that King James never heard of. KJ me no KJ, try Luther’s translation if you want old style language!

Note 1: Years ago my father got upset when I referred to a car with a bench seat. When he found out what I meant he was annoyed. That’s what you call a seat. The rise of bucket seats had left him behind. I knew someone else who dislikes “acoustic guitar” for similar reasons. And wait till the greenies get told that sea salt is inorganic.

Note 2. There are churches here and there with names like “Thee Greater Blessing Church of God.” (An example.) That’s taking confusion to a new level.

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