Some years ago I spent two weeks at a British computer science meeting, living in a university dorm and eating their food. The widespread feeling among the Americans present was that the food had no taste. Most amazing was an apple pie that looked just like an American apple pie but had no taste at all.
Later, I spent some months living in
I investigated and discovered the Great British Food Conspiracy. There is a factory in Worcestershire to which all British food is sent (excepting obviously the food served in restaurants run by Asians, which is delicious). At that factory all the flavor is removed and used for some purpose I was unable to discover, although I must say Worcestershire Sauce is particularly flavorful. The denatured food is then slyly redistributed to shops and non-ethnic restaurants. This map shows where the factory is. Zoom in for PROOF of the conspiracy!
More recently I saw another proof of this conspiracy: A car with a bumper sticker that said I am the Anti-Spice. That PROVES the existence of the conspiracy. Some authority figures have tried to put what politicians call a "spin" (in other words, lie) on this bumper sticker, saying it refers to the Spice Girls. This is obviously another aspect of the Coverup of the Great British Food Conspiracy.
Charles Wells, May, 2004